california

august 08, 2025 i am on my way to where i am going. but first, i will look around and admire where i am. july i’m growing and the more i grow the more i ache. the things i’m doing now i couldn’t even imagine myself doing three months ago. a friend of mine who’s a new parent once told me that watching her child grow meant that she was in a constant state of happiness and grief. these days, i am in a constant state of happiness and grief. there is a version of makhela who now o

the grief is billowing and i am screaming and no one can hear me. the grief is building and churning i feed it my tears nose running breaths snagged between inhales and exhales the grief is rising and they are screaming and no one is listening. everyday i wake up and my inner child is angrier than the day before. the villains she grew up reading about and watching on cyberchase, are all here. they are real, and people are more morally grey than she was lead to believe and she

i love flowing in an out of this space. oop i’m here, oop no i’m not, gotcha. anyways, i present to you a journal entry disguised as literary prose for your enjoyment. as always, free palestine. small change of plans, i’m in california. *insert small giggles, big laughter and evil laughter* i inhale, i hold it, i exhale. i sit on the balcony of the home i’m sitting for and i tilt my face up to the sun and smile. i inhale, i hold it, and with a grand exhale i say, “i’m free.”